Steve Cohen Preparing For Black Friday-esque Mob On Jan. 1, 2018


While the tourists and suckers ring in 2018 35 miles to the southwest, a crowd of besuited and discerning hedge fund investors will be lining Cummings Point Road, shivering both from the frigid winds whipping in from the Long Island Sound and from excitement, staving off frostbite beside the steaming vats of hot dog water (and hot dogs, if there are any left) at the Super Duper Weenie truck. Tough Mudder-style, they’ll each have a number scrawled across their forehead, which is the order in which—at 11:45 p.m. exactly, they’ll begin wailing away at the Preet Bharara piñata hanging in the lobby. He or she who breaks the papier mâché U.S. Attorney will be rewarded not just with the much-needed Stamford Harbor Capital fleece contained therein, but with the opportunity to award the liberated Steve Cohen with his first eight- or nine-figure check since The Unpleasantness. The rest will have to scratch and claw their way through the others in hopes of getting a few ducats in before the fund is closed and the disappointed are sent back out into the cold, empty-handed, losers in Donald Trump’s America…

Steve Cohen Preparing For Black Friday-esque Mob On Jan. 1, 2018

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